Trust the plan

The road traveled over these past six years has been one that has seen some pretty amazing things, but also one that has had several bumps along the way.  Anyone that knows me knows that pictures have always been important in my life. Through the past 6 years I have had family members take pictures of the kids and I....I couldn't quite have a professional take them...as I knew it would be emotional for me.  You see there was someone missing in our family picture.  It's silly I know... he was still missing in the ones family took, but somehow having professional family pictures taken made me sick to my stomach.

Fast forward to Summer 2016....the beginning of Spencer's senior year.  I knew I was going to have to suck it up and put my big girl panties on....God knew I needed someone that would be gentle with me and all the emotions that would run through me while taking senior pictures.  He sent me the most amazing soul.  While I have known Renee for awhile, I didn't know the importance she would play in my life years later.  Renee's husband and Steve went high school together....this is no coincidence that Renee came into our lives...It was all part of a much bigger plan.

September rolled around and it was time to start snapping pictures.  Renee encouraged me to do some family pictures along with Spencer's senior pictures.  I dug deep and found those big girl panties.  How do I even describe the feelings that went through me that day?  My baby boy a senior, my family picture missing someone, Steve missing out on so much...I was a mess inside.  The encouragement and love I received from Renee that day was just what I needed. She captured the essence of my children....of my family...I couldn't be more pleased with how they turned out.  Thank you Renee for your love, support, encouragement and for capturing these moments!

And while the above picture is my current reality....I am so glad that Renee suggested this....while he may not be with us here on earth, he will forever be in our hearts....and that means more than any one can ever imagine...

Things don't happen by happenstance...That I believe with my whole heart.  Trust in the plan....

God knew....

I have felt compelled to write this post about one of the most influential people in Sydney's life, but I am not even sure how to put into words what this person means to our family.  The relationship with this person started well before Sydney ever stepped a foot into his classroom.  It started when she was a mere 5 years old and stepped foot into his wife's music classroom in kindergarten.  This was when Sydney was bit by the music bug.  Mrs. Morales's enthusiasm and passion made a huge impact on Sydney.  At five we didn't know what importance all of this would mean in the years to come. Sydney continued on with anything musical in her elementary years from choir, to orchestra, to musicals. This was truly some place she could express herself, it was healing for her.  As she left elementary she was placed into some very loving and caring hands at the middle school.  Mrs. Dahn continued to help push Sydney in choir and she added spunk and zest to everything she did.   But this man, has made a HUGE impact on her life.  While I am not downplaying the role these women have made in her life, Mr. Morales came into our lives at a very pivotal point for Sydney.  Losing her dad had left a huge hole in her life.  Mr. Morales truly is a father figure in her eyes.  He helped her see what a loving and caring relationship between a "dad" and daughter should be.  Each and every one of the students in orchestra is one of his kids.  Any outsider can see this by the way he interacts with them. He can joke with them, but he can also give them advice and help steer them on the correct path.  I am truly in awe of him.  He KNOWS each and everyone of his students and is able to reach them in ways that many other teachers cannot.  He takes the time to get to know them....he invests in each one of them.Tonight he held a banquet in their honor.  He called them up one by one and gave them an award. Some were funny and some were serious but they all came from the heart.  So Mr. Morales I don't even know where to begin to thank you for investing in my child.  For loving her like she was your own. For helping her to find her smile and love for life.  But most of all for showing her that there is good in this world and that we need to invest in one another....it cost nothing, but the reward is invaluable.  So glad that you are part of our village.  God knew we needed you in our lives.

How did I get so lucky???

Fourteen years ago God entrusted this beautiful soul to Steve and I.  It's been 5 years that her dad has not been with us....he would be so proud of the person she has become.  Watching her grow these past years I am awe struck at eloquently and gracefully she has embraced life.  She gives me perspective often times of how life should be lived.  What a true blessing she is to all she comes in contact with.  While there are many things that I love about this girl....I will share 14 of them in honor of her 14th birthday.

1. How she calls me madre

2.  Her sensitivity to so many things

3.  How helpful she is to everyone

4.  The love she has for God

5.  How she goes after something once she makes her mind up

6.  Her love for Sam

7.  Her passionate spirit

8.  How she looks out for the underdog

9.  Her love for family

10. The way she teases Spencer, it's her way of showing how she loves him

11.  Her fashion sense

12.  Her beautiful smile

13. How she puts 110% into everything she does.  

14. How each morning and night she tells me several times she loves me

I am very blessed...blessed by her spirit, her smile, and her love for life.  I thank God every day that he picked me to be her mom.  Happiest of birthdays to you my sweet Sydney!

The last year of childhood....

As I got on here to type for Sydney's birthday I realized that I had not written for Spencer's....YIKES. Life has been crazy busy....I need to remember to slow down and savor the moments.  I often catch myself with tears in my eyes thinking about how my time him is getting shorter.  While I know this is the natural process, it doesn't make it any easier.  When you have seen your child grow through so many stages of their lives it is hard to believe that in a short time I am going to have to cut those strings.  I have no doubt he will be successful as he has shown great perseverance in so many ways.So while this is late....I have to share 17 things I love about Spencer Cole....

1.  His quirky sense of humor

2.  The silly things he does to Sam just to make her laugh.

3.  How he torments Sydney but becomes over protective 

4.  Those blue eyes

5.  How he embraces things that are out of his control and makes the best of the situation.

6.  His willingness to help others

7.  How much he looks like his dad......

8.  Money is important, however, realizing that investing now is also important.      

9.  His willingness to help me out when I get in a pinch.

10. How he reminds me that next year is his last before he leaves....BOO!

11. His independence

12. His quite strength

13. Showing God's love to others

14. His spontaneity 

15. That he puts everything he has into his job

16.  The texts I get every morning telling me he loves me and to have a great day.

17.  And that he still hugs me and tells me he loves me

As I type this tears stream down my face...tears of happiness for the man he has become but tears of sadness for the little boy that is no longer with me.  Love you Spencer Cole!  You are an amazing young man!

PS...Sorry this is so late...