Decisions, Decisions

Life is all about decisions and having to live with the consequences of them. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, just all depends on how you look at the situation.

Today would have been Steve's 42nd birthday. Man that is hard to type, would have.....

So today, I have some choices to make on how to celebrate this wonderful man. While my heart is still in a million and one pieces, I have decided we will celebrate all that he encompassed as a person. While there will be tears, I am choosing to surround myself with some of the people that loved him the most and talk and laugh about him. There seems to be great comfort in talking about him and hearing about him from others.....as this shows he is not forgotten.

So while this is my choice, I know that not everyone who has lost a loved one can celebrate and that is ok. We all grieve in different ways. I try to stay focused on who and what he stood for and what he meant to us, as I think that is very important for myself as well as my children, and celebrate him as a person.

So Happy Birthday Steve! We love and miss you!

1 Year Down and Continuing Forward....

I sit in amazement that a year has gone by. Wow! There are so many things that I have learned this past year....

• that without my faith, truly I would not be where I am today.
  



• Life insurance is a must!!! It is affordable, you must make sacrifices now in case something were to happen. Never thought in a MILLION years I would need it...and don't just be ok with what your work offers. There are SO many expenses you don't expect!
  




• Double check your insurance policies (home and auto), make sure that you will be ok if something happens to you or to someone that is on your property or in your car. See if you have coverage on your auto for under insured and uninsured (thanks Brian)!
  




• There are still honest car sales men...besides my uncle... Thank you Kyle for helping me through my first car buying experience. I will use you again when my kids need wheels.
  




• There are people out there that want to remain anonymous and do random acts of kindness...thank you for those who put money in my kids lunch account, in their education fund and for gift cards that would randomly show up in the mail.
  




• Hail storms can be good....I got a new roof and gutters because of Mother Nature.
  




• Truly I am blessed with the fact that there are still good people out there that want to help and make my life a little easier...won't list them all as the list is long. But I was blessed to have meals delivered for over 6 months, my house was painted, windows installed, gutters cleaned out, lawn mowed, snow shoveled, ceiling fan hung, toilet fixed, sink faucet installed, kitchen painted, washer and dryer delivered, house cleaned, a pastor that helps, encourages and prays for us....
  




• I learned that there are lawyers out there that truly care and want to help. There were so many things I didn't know I would need help with and Brian was there to lend a hand.
  




• I have learned much about the fiance world...and this was uncharted territory for me....what is a mutual fund, IRA, Roth, Stocks, Structured Settlements, Bonds, MOST...well I could not have told you before Steve's passing, but I know now... and guess what...with the way the stock market is going, I am ok...because the way I see it...I am getting more for my money :) I am in it for the long haul...
  




• I have learned that in order for healing to happen you have to laugh and cry or cry and laugh. You have to talk about how you are feeling and embrace the feelings whenever and wherever you are. And, you must surround yourself with people that help propel your forward and let go of those who suck the energy right out of you, as you barely have enough energy to make it through the day.
  




• Everyone has a story, and you never know what they are dealing with at a particular time. Maybe you have a cranky waitress, stop and think that maybe her mom was just diagnosed with cancer and that she is doing the best she can. I was often given the grace I needed by those who know and love me, but I can guarantee I was cranky with someone that thought "Geez, what is her problem?"
  




• I realize the things that I worried about before truly were petty and try to stay focused on what is important in life.
  




• I realize that my children are stronger than I have ever given them credit for and their perspective on so many things have truly inspired me and touch me to the core.
  




• and finally I realize that life will never be the same, however, there are so many things in my life that I can say that I am truly blessed. I will continue on into year 2 staying focused on the positive, because I know that is what Steve would have wanted. There will detours I am sure, but all I have to do is look into my children's eyes and realize again how truly blessed I am.