By looking at the pictures one can tell how much things have changed. Yet there are things that are still the same. One thing that has never wavered is the love these 3 have for each other. Watching that grow over the years has made this mama’s heart swell. Another thing that has not changed in these past 9 years is the sense of peace we all have. While we don’t understand why our lives were ripped apart, we truly trust in God and know that one day it all will make perfect sense. I would love to take credit for how they have turned out but I can’t. You see because of Steve’s death there have been SO many influences on them. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmas, grandpas, friends, counselors, youth ministers, coaches, teachers and many more. What you don’t see in this first picture is 2 of my very best friends encouraging me to take the vacation. They held my hand and gave me courage. They continued to vacation with me because they knew it was important to me to make it happen for my children. Then they encouraged me to fly on my own. It was so scary but I did it. The picture on the right...what you don’t see is that we flew. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but flying with Sams diet and medication made this mom have anxiety attacks. But guess what, it worked out. It’s taken me 9 years to conquer some of my fears, that seems like a long time yet it doesn’t. I’ve taken itty bitty baby steps but I’m ok with that. I’ve learned to rely on others, open up about my fears and tackle them head on. I’m not going to lie, I thought I was going to puke until we were through security at the airport. What you don’t see in the second picture is ALL the people who have loved and supported us through the years to get us to the point where we are today.
So as this 9th year comes to a close and we begin the 10th year without him I want to share 9 things I have learned over the years.
1. You truly don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Invest in your relationships. Take the time, make the memories. COMMUNICATE!!!!!
2. People will say the dumbest things. Mainly because they don’t know what to say...love them anyway. My favorite was 2 weeks after he passed “you’re young you’ll find someone else” 😳
3. Everyone wants to help. Some people are automatic doers, others want you to ask because they don’t want to over step boundaries. We all like to feel needed...let people help you.
4. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I don’t care what they say about the grief cycle...you don’t have to go through all of the steps.
5. Things do hit you out of no where and you can’t prepare for them.
6. Stay positive and surround yourself with like minded people. This has been HUGE for me.
7. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Our motto is “we’ve lived through worse”. We truly try to keep perspective on what truly matters.
8. The heart is capable of amazing love, especially after loss
9. When we go through loss we morph into a new soul, full of enlightenment and painful growth.
9a. I am not strong. I am human and have learned to focus on the positive as much as possible. I have bad days where people pick me up and dust me off and help me see what is truly important in life. And sometimes they have to pick me up several days in a row...find your people. Find your tribe.
So just like on July 31, 2010 I will continue to see the blessings. God has a plan and one day I will understand.
Much love to you all.
