I wish I could say that she is thriving in a wonderful day program and that we have everything figured out.
But that’s not our reality right now.
You see, this is a lengthy process. And when I say lengthy, I mean there are so many hoops to jump through that sometimes it feels like some of them are on fire.
We just wrapped up working with an agency to determine whether Sam was ready to work. I went into the process thinking she may be able to handle some type of job with the right support. But I also wanted to go through the process and make sure I wasn’t just assuming she couldn’t, or assuming she could. I wanted to know that I had explored the possibility so I wouldn’t look back later and wonder if I should have tried.
The conclusion was that Sam is not ready for traditional employment right now. She doesn’t work independently enough, and she doesn’t consistently follow directions without support.
Did I already know that?
Honestly, yes.
But hearing someone else say that your child is “not employable at this time” is different.
It hurts.
It is another one of those moments where you are reminded of the things your child cannot do. And, if I’m being completely honest, it is also another reminder that life will never look the way I once imagined it would for her or for us.
There are moments when that reality just hits you right in the heart.
But this is where I have to remind myself that one closed door does not mean there aren’t other doors.
So we will keep looking.
I would still love to find a small job for Sam, maybe just a few hours a week—that is a good fit for her abilities. Something where she can contribute, have a purpose, feel a sense of accomplishment and pride, and be part of a team or community in some way.
And yes, I would be willing to be there with her to provide the support she needs and make sure the job gets done correctly.
If you happen to know of a business or organization who might have a simple job that could be a good fit for her, please let me know. We are absolutely open to possibilities and would love to talk.
And while we wait for all of this to be figured out, there is another very simple way you could help.
Since this is going to be a long process, Sam is going to be with me the majority of the time. And while I absolutely love my girl, I think we could both use a little time apart from one another.
If you would ever like to take Sam with you to run an errand, grab lunch, go shopping, get fries , go for a drive, or simply hang out for an hour or two, I can pretty much guarantee she would welcome the change of scenery and the opportunity to not have to hang out with her mom for a little while.
It doesn’t have to be an all-day commitment. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated. Even an hour or two would give her something different to look forward to, give her an opportunity to spend time with someone else, and give me a little bit of breathing room.
Honestly, you would be helping both of us.
So where are we right now in the process?? We are waiting to be approved for the waiver to pay for day programs
Ahhh…the almighty waiver.
The waiver that will hopefully allow Sam to attend a day program where she can spend her days doing meaningful activities, socializing, being out in the community, learning and practicing skills, and simply having somewhere to go and something to do.
I wish I could explain why this process takes so long. Sometimes it can take more than a year.
A little bit of good news is that because Sam has been determined not to be ready for employment right now, she should qualify for a higher level of waiver support.
So here we are.
Waiting.
Making phone calls.
Filling out paperwork.
Trying another door when one closes.
And figuring it all out as we go.
I’m not sharing this because I want anyone to feel sorry for us. I don’t.
I just want people to understand that this part of life for someone like Sam is complicated. There isn’t a simple “she graduated, now she gets a job” or “she graduated, now she goes to a day program.”
There are assessments and agencies and waivers and waiting lists and eligibility requirements and a whole lot of paperwork in between.
And while I may occasionally want to bang my head against a wall over all of it, I’m not giving up.
We will find her next door.
It may not be the door I originally imagined.
But we’ll find it.
