Father's Day.....

It's been 327 days since he passed...327...hard to believe. We have had plenty of rough days, some good days and some days that we smile. But truly, Sunday, June 19th was the most heart wrenching, suck the air right of you day. Father's Day will never be the same for us again. For my kids no longer have a Father to celebrate with, to make cards for, to go on picnics with, to eat ice cream with....gone are those days...it was ripped from them some 327 days ago.

While most people went on with their day, some sent nice notes, gave me hugs or said nice words to me. Never did I think this would be THE hardest day since he passed. Now that I have had time to reflect, I feel that this was the hardest day because all the other "holidays" focus on other people and we tend to be surrounded by lots of family....which is always a good distraction. There was a huge, gaping hole at the picnic....no one to hold hands with on the walk on the trail....we carried on in tradition to what we have always done for Father's Day, but the pain was so intense. A pain I probably needed to feel, but gosh darn it hurts. We survived though...we made it through. We added a new tradition to this Father's Day...we purchased balloons and wrote messages to their dad and released them....a tradition I would rather not have....




I am blessed to have a wonderful and caring dad still in my life, and his day was overshadowed this year because of the pain we are still facing. The best thing, I know he understands and doesn't judge me...so thanks dad...love you lots!

Another thing that truly is maddening to me is when people could see or talk to their dad on this day, but don't. Ok trust me I know about family problems and tense situations when it comes to family, but it breaks my heart to know that people can't take time from their busy lives and make a call, spend a few hours with their family...THEIR FAMILY...the good the bad and the ugly...but they are FAMILY!!! What my kids would give to spend just a few more moments with their dad...moments...something you can never get back. Jobs can wait, pride can be set aside, but there will come a day when those days and moments will cease... and all that will be left for your loved ones are memories....so don't rob people from making good memories with you.

I know that we are truly blessed because we have so many great memories of Steve. One that made us smile this Father's Day....we went to Dairy Queen and got his favorite..The Buster Bar. You see Steve truly loved Peanut Buster Parfaits, but would eat the Buster Bar because it was cheaper...this is so Steve...


Thanks for the memories sweetie...we sure do miss you...and will continue to honor you every day.

Blessings...

Summer has truly started out better than I had anticipated. On Sunday evening we were invited to Celebration at the Station down at Union Station. It was a TOTAL spur of the moment thing, and for those of you who truly know me...I am NOT, I repeat NOT a spur of the moment person. Literally we stopped at Quiktrip grabbed dinner and a drink and headed out. Mom of the Year for dinner at Quicktrip. We hung out with good friends and listened to the symphony and then watched fireworks. It truly was an amazing time, a lot of healing happened that night! I came to realize that I can do things all by myself....where there is a will there is a way! Thanks Chris and Ang for inviting us!



The rest of this week has been getting Spencer ready to leave for 10 days for scout camp. SIGH.... As I sit and reflect on this I am truly humbled by all the outpouring of love from everyone to help make this possible. My amazing brother in law has graciously agreed to go and be there with Spencer. Please understand, Ed finished school TODAY, and leaves TOMORROW to be there for Spencer. I have to admit it's because I am worried about things that could trigger things for Spencer since Steve was with him last year. So thank you Ed for giving up the first part of your summer to be there for us. Thank you Susie for letting him go as I know this cuts into your time too.

Now another amazing thing...Spencer will be earning some merit badges while at camp. One of the prerequisites was for him to catch a fish, fillet, cook and eat a fish. I HATE FISH!!! So I don't have a clue how to fillet or cook it, and would not dare eat it...YUCK! So Linda stepped up to the plate and helped accomplish this task....Thank you a ton Linda for this...you saved me!






Now many other people will be writing to Spencer while at camp, others praying for them... and some will travel on Sunday to be with him for Scout Sunday. Thank you to everyone...no task is to small to help comfort me as well as Spencer during this time.

So while Spencer is out of town, the girls will play...I think shopping is in order as well as a pedicure. We might even sneak in some ice cream. I even get to go and have dinner with my sister...what a treat...excellent dinner for sure...love eating at their house.

Ok so I know we are only a week into summer, but I am trying to stay upbeat and positive and not let things get me down. So if you think I might enjoy something...call me...I might surprise you as I surprised myself and do something spur of the moment.