Summer

Well it's the official start to summer and most years I would be so excited to have 2 1/2 months off. However, this year is a little, no strike that, a lot different.

This summer I won't have to try and keep the kids quiet while Steve is in his office working.

This summer it is me who will be planning the family vacation.

This summer it is me who will have to do all the driving.

This summer it is just me....with so much time on my hands.

So yes, I am afraid that with so much time on my hands there will be so much time on my hands that thoughts and memories will overcome me.

Yes, the kids will keep me busy, but when I was teaching, there wasn't time in the day to break down, I couldn't just say "excuse me class while I have this small melt down". I was hoping that at 10 months out it might be easier, but I am beginning to think if it will ever get easier. Yes, we have happy moments, but there are still the out of the blue smack you in the face he is gone forever moments too. So here's to summer.....here's to praying that healing will continue and that we will survive and make wonderful memories together.