The Struggle with Labels

Ever since Steve died I have struggled with the fact that I am a "single" parent now and the negative aspect that society has placed on being a "single" parent. Not that there is anything wrong with being a single parent and many reading this don't think a bad thought about "single" parents, but trust me, there are many out there who do treat you like you have a disease. Here is what bothers me, Steve and I truly had finally gotten to a point where we got it...got the whole marriage thing, the whole parent thing, the WHOLE life thing. Now I am not saying life was perfect, is it really ever perfect? I can only think of one PERFECT person and Steve is with Him now. I have had many friends that have had the terrible misfortune of going through a divorce saying one of the hardest things for them was being labeled a "single" parent. I understand, but for me, I didn't choose to be single and I think that is why it pains me. I realize that some single parents didn't "choose" it either, I just hope you get what I am saying and that you aren't offended by my feelings. I often want to wear a sign that says "My husband died, and I didn't choose to be single. I loved being Mrs. Steve Gouldsmith" or some variation of this. But today I read from another widow's blog that we are "only" parents...finally a term that I can live with. I am the ONLY parent to my children, and you know what sometimes it flat out stinks...I have to be the bad guy, have to make choices on my own and hope and pray for the best. I am the only parent when someone is throwing up in the night, the only parent helping with homework, the only parent making sure that teeth are brushed and deodorant is on, the only parent making the financial decisions that could affect the rest of our lives etc. etc. etc. Now don't get me wrong I love being the mom to these three precious souls, and there are perks that go with the job. And honestly, I have been blessed with the out pouring of love of family and friends that have stepped in when they knew I needed another "parent". Maybe you know an "only" parent and can offer help to them, whether it be to hang out with their kids while they get groceries or help shuffle them to and from activities, offer advice when they are struggling with parent decisions, tell them what worked for you or just go and hang out with them so there is another adult in the house for conversation. Just reach out and show God's love.